


Pick-Up Lines for Dummies

by BurgerOverLord



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Most of the team is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurgerOverLord/pseuds/BurgerOverLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima thought it over. Could he really resort to using lame pick-up lines to try and woo Hinata? Considering he couldn't think of anything better himself, he decided to give it a shot. He nodded, "Okay, but unless you have a <i>Pick-Up Lines for Dummies</i> book stashed under your shirt, I have nothing,"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick-Up Lines for Dummies

He didn't really put much effort into it but he did a rather good job, if he could say so himself. Tsukishima had no troubles hiding his emotions from people and by putting up a sarcastic front everyone was fooled. But it was hard to keep one emotion from showing and he realized it would only continue to try to be shown. He hated this emotion with his entire being.

Love.

It hadn't been that long since Tsukishima found himself getting flustered whenever a certain orange-haired boy was around or whenever he found himself thinking about said boy. He never asked for a crush but apparently his heart wasn't good at listening to him. So as the days went by his crush only grew until he couldn't go a minute without thinking about Hinata. He would often praise the boy about being cute then curse him out for being so cute. To himself, of course. No one must know about his crush or he would surely die.

Thinking he was alone in the locker room was where he made his first mistake. It was just after practice and everyone had gone home but Tsukishima who, for some reason, felt an odd urge to continue practicing. He recalled some point during practice where he and Hinata had successfully blocked a spike and Hinata, being the metaphorical ball of sunshine he is, went in for a high-five with Tsukishima. Tsukishima, having to keep up the cold attitude, declined the high-five with a comment about Hinata's height. Thinking back on it now he blushed at the thought of Hinata's smile that was aimed towards him during that time.

"That dumbass, smiling up at me like he's so perfect. I mean he is but that's not the point. Stupid Hinata," He closed his locker and let out a girlish shriek when he saw Tanaka's face smiling at him. He regained his posture and cleared his throat, "What?" Did his voice just crack? He cringed on the inside and huffed out a breath.

"Oh nothing. I just thought I heard the most interesting news. You know, about a certain blond having feelings for a certain shortie," He laughed as the blush on Tsukishima's face got darker. He turned around and headed for the door, "Oh man! I have to tell everyone!"

"No!" Tsukishima grabbed Tanaka's shoulder and pulled him back, "No one can know about this. Hell, even you weren't supposed to know." He let go of Tanaka and returned to his gym bag.

"Didn't know you were the tsundere type, Tsukishima," Tanaka shrugged when Tsukishima called out 'I am not!' and made his way over to the taller boy. He leaned against the lockers, "Do you want to tell him? Hinata, I mean," 

Tsukishima tried to find words but sighed instead, "I'm not sure. I would like to but...how?" He glanced at Tanaka as he continued to put his things away.

Tanaka hummed in understanding before snapping his fingers. "I got it!" He faced Tsukishima, excitement evident on his face, "Use some pick-up lines on him. Get him feeling giddy and flustered before going in for the kill! It'll be perfect!"

Tsukishima thought it over. Could he really resort to using lame pick-up lines to try and woo Hinata? Considering he couldn't think of anything better himself, he decided to give it a shot. He nodded, "Okay, but unless you have a _Pick-Up Lines for Dummies_ book stashed under your shirt, I have nothing,"

Tanaka smirked, "Trust me, my precious kouhai. Leave it to your senpai to give you the best pick-up lines. Come here," He grabbed Tsukishima and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. "What you need to do is..."

\--

"Okay everyone. Take a five minute break and get ready for the next set of receives," Ukai started gathering the stray volleyballs scattered around the gym.

Tsukishima nervously messed with his water bottle as he watched Hinata talking to Kageyama a few feet from him. He needed to wait for the signal Tanaka was going to give him. As if reading his mind, Tanaka called for Kageyama to come see something and flashed Tsukishima a quick thumbs up. Tsukishima stood up and made his way over to Hinata.

"Oi," Hinata jumped slightly at the voice that was suddenly behind him. He turned around and got into a fighting stance.

"What do you want, huh? Wanna fight? Bring it on, you telephone pole," Hinata moved from left to right as if waiting for Tsukishima to strike. When he saw Tsukishima's face grow red he lowered his arms and looked curiously at the tall boy.

"D-Do you like bacon?" Tsukishima avoided eye contact with Hinata, his eyes looked at everything but him. "Wanna strip?"

Loud laughter that could only be identified as Tanaka's filled the gym. He tried to lean against Kageyama for support but ended up falling onto the floor, clutching his sides in fear they would split. Meanwhile Hinata's curious gaze grew as he tilted his head to the right, "What? Do you have bacon for lunch? If that's the case," He moved his head to its original position, "No thank you. I have my own lunch so you can keep yours." He turned around to face Tanaka as his laugh got louder with Hinata's response. "Are you okay, Tanaka-senpai?"

Tanaka could barely talk, let alone breathe. His tried to quiet down his laughter, "He... he actually said it! And then you! Oh man!" He struggled to get off the floor.

"Who? Who said what?" Hinata once again tilted his head as he clearly did not understand what Tanaka was talking about.

Tanaka wiped a year from his eye and ruffled Hinata's hair, "Nothing, nothing."

"Come on, break's over." Ukai clapped his hands in order to get everyone's attention. Tanaka walked past Tsukishima and clapped him on the back.

Tsukishima felt humiliated. While it was a pick up line suited for Hinata, the boy who ate like no tomorrow, it was also dumb. He couldn't believe he just said that in front of everyone. That was until Yachi came by and asked what had happened. He felt better knowing it was just him, Hinata, and Tanaka that heard him say that stupid line. He shook his head at Yachi and went over to join everyone else around Ukai.

\--

Yamaguchi couldn't seem to stay still as he and Tsukishima walked home together. Tsukishima was concerned, yes, but he knew that it wasn't something bad considering Yamaguchi looked joyful. He decided to ignore his fidgety companion. That was until Yamaguchi suddenly blurted out "You like Hinata don't you?"

Tsukishima chocked on air at the unexpected question. But knowing he wouldn't be able to hide it from  
his best friend for much longer, he nodded. He watched Yamaguchi smile and smiled himself.

"So what happened earlier today was you flirting with Hinata?"

"Trying to. Tanaka gave me a dumb pick up line and I trusted him blindly. Of course I thought Hinata was smart enough to pick up on the fact that I was, indeed, flirting with him." Tsukishima looked up towards the sky and sighed, "What am I going to do, Yamaguchi?"

"If you want, I could give you a new pick up line? It won't be much but it will definitely be better than Tanaka's." Yamaguchi scratched the back of his head nervously. "But if you don't want it then that's fine too."

Tsukishima sighed, "Alright, give it to me."

\--

The bell had sounded for lunch, making everyone scramble around as they were eager to eat. Hinata pulled out his boxed lunch and began to eat. His classmates laughed at how fast he ate and he smiled along with them. When the chatter suddenly died down he looked around to figure out why. He found Tsukishima standing before his desk, face scrunched up. Hinata swallowed his mouthful, "Tsukishima? What do you need?"

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes and mentally prepared himself. "Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?" He awaited the laughter that he thought would follow but none came.

"Tsukishima, you should know out of everyone that dinosaurs are extinct. And why would I kiss you if you were wrong? I'd just tell you. Now that I think about it, you've been acting weird lately. Are you okay?" Hinata stood up and lifted his hand to feel Tsukishima's forehead but stopped when his hand didn't quite reach, even when he stood on his toes.

Tsukishima laughed off his internal nervousness, "What's wrong? Forgot how short you are? I wouldn't blame you, if I had to look at that level all the time I'd forget too," He watched Hinata take his hand back and sit back down.

"You know what? Suddenly I don't care to see if you're feverish. Go back to doing whatever it is freakishly tall people do. Probably bully the short people,"

"Well, then I'm already doing that then,"

Hinata went back to eating his lunch, ignoring Tsukishima. When Tuskishima tried to get another reaction out of him, Hinata simply swallowed his mouthful again and replied with, "I'm sorry but Hinata isn't here right now. Please leave your message so he can ignore you more,"

Tsukishima left Hinata's class and made his way to his own. In the distance he could've sworn he heard someone yelling but ignored it and continued on his way. When the yelling got louder he realized it was someone dragging out his name. He turned around and saw Nishinoya running towards him. When Nishinoya caught up he roughly hit Tsukishima's arm, meaning for it to be friendly and not so hard.

"Tsukishima! I heard from Ryuu that you're crushing on Hinata hard time!" Nishinoya loudly exclaimed in the middle of the hall causing people to stare at them.

Tsukishima shushed him, "Be quiet. There's no need to scream at the world. And what if I do?" He stared down at Nishinoya, "Wait a minute, are you trying to help me to? Are you going to also give me a pick up line?"

Nishinoya nodded enthusiastically, "Yep! So get ready for it!"

Tsukishima turned around, "No thanks," He started walking but heard the smaller boy following him.

"The first two didn't work because one, Ryuu set you up and two, because the one that Yamaguchi gave you is lame and nerdy which is why you used it." He grinned when Tsukishima turned around again.

"Who told you Yamaguchi gave me a pick up line?"

"He did. He said that you would need a lot more help too so that's why I decided to help you!"

Tsukishima rubbed his temples. He knew that he wasn't going to shake Nishinoya off his tail so he might as well listen to him. He was also going to strangle Yamaguchi for telling Nishinoya that he needed help. "Alright, alright. But this one better work or else,"

Nishinoya nodded again, "It will. Hinata is impressed with smart people, right? Whenever you or Yachi go off about intellectual things he is amazed. So I thought we could use your smartness to reel him in,"

Tsukishima sent a silent prayer to whatever God was watching down on his pitiful life.

\--

School had just ended and the first years were making their way towards the gym. Tsukishima swallowed his pride as he caught up to walk beside Hinata.

Said boy looked up at him, "You're not gonna say something weird, are you?"

Tsukishima didn't answer his question. Instead he opened his mouth to repeat the line that Nishinoya had given him. "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you,"

Hinata clicked his tongue, "Well no one said you had to stay around me! If you feel that way then go some where else," He stormed into the gym, passing by Sugawara who watched the whole thing unfold. He stared at Tsukishima who stared at the retreating form of Hinata. He sighed, for what felt like the umpteenth time that week, and looked to the vice captain for some sort of answer.

Sugawara smiled apologetically as if Hinata's behavior was his fault. "Hinata seems to have think that irrational is irritable. Besides that flop, how is it going?" His smile changed from apologetic to whole-hearted, his interest in Tsukishima's crush genuine.

Tsukishima groaned, "He's so dense. It's adorable on any other occasion but I swear he's never been this dense. And the help that everyone gives is no actual help, just makes Hinata confused and leaves me wishing I never accepted said help."

"Why don't you try a different approach?" Sugawara grinned as if he had a secret.

Tsukishima stopped in his tracks, "A new approach? What do you mean?"

Sugawara leaned in close, "You've been using cheesy pick up lines, which would make anyone confused. So why not try something on the other side?"

"Are you implying that I use a dirty pick up line?" Tsukishima was not innocent, everyone could thank his younger self's curious eyes and his older brother's open laptop. Given whatever line Sugawara was going to give him, he was a bit worried of the innocence of Hinata. He was pretty sure the boy had never seen anything more risqué than hand holding. But he trusted Sugawara enough to believe the older boy would give him a good enough line. "Alright. I'm listening,"

Sugawara's grin widened as he whispered into Tsukishima's ear the line he had been saving for a while.

\--

Given how many times Tsukishima had approached Hinata, the whole team was waiting in anticipation when they saw the two boys near each other. They watched as Tsukishima threw his arm around Hinata's shoulder and smirked down at the boy.

"You know, Hinata. I bet you would look adorable grasping the sheets of my bed," He himself waited for the response.

Hinata states up at him and shook his head, "No matter how many time you compliment me I'm not going to make your bed. You're perfectly capable of doing it yourself." Hinata walked away to return to practicing with Kageyama.

Tsukishima hung his head and swore up and down that he was going to give up. Anyone else would be able to understand what he was implying, not only with his most recent line but all of them. Why did he have to fall for Hinata?

He jumped when a large hand clapped his shoulder. He turned his head to see Daichi staring up at him.

"Suga gave you that line, huh?" He smiled brightly when Tsukishima nodded, "He could barely hold his excitement. He was sure that that was going to be the winning line," He released Tsukshima's shoulder. "I wasn't going to intervene but seeing as you've tried four times and are still struggling, I think I'll help a little,"

Tsukishima looked doubtful, "Do you know my problem as well?"

Daichi nodded, "You're using indirect lines, they would go over anyone's head. You need to get strait to the point. Come here," He motioned for Tsukishima to lean down, which the taller did.

\--

It was finally Friday, which meant it was Tsukishima's last chance for the week. It was after practice meaning most everyone had gone home already, the first years staying behind to clean up after their extra practice.

Tsukishima waited until it was just him and Hinata left until he swallowed his pride and approached Hinata.

Hinata waited for the blond to say something, that seems to be all he's capable of this week, but none came. He blinked up at Tsukishima and waited some more. When nothing came after a minute he huffed in annoyance, "Well?"

Tuskishima seemed to be snapped back to reality, "What?"

"Aren't you going to say something?"

"Sorry, you're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line."

His eyes widened when they saw Hinata's face grow red. 

A reaction! He finally got a reaction besides confusion, and it was the type of reaction he wanted. Mentally he screamed in joy but on the outside he smiled. The smile quickly left when Hinata opened his mouth.

"W-what do you mean?"

Tsukishima grew irritated and whatever patience he had left snapped. "Why are you so stupid? I mean just because you're small doesn't mean you're brain has to be,"

The reason for Hinata's red face changed from embarrassment to anger, "What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? This whole week I've been casually dropping hints- no, not hints. Actual words- that I'm in love with you, but here you are. Too oblivious to understand them." Tsukishima was beyond caring that he just told Hinata he loves him, but Hinata stopped his thought process and stared at he other.

"You love me?"

It was quiet in the gym, nothing but breathing to be heard. Tsukishima nodded at Hinata's question, "For the longest time. Thanks for noticing."

Hinata slowly broke out into a smile, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you think I've been doing all week?" Tsukishima was ready to strangle Hinata.

"You were saying weird, confusing stuff. I didn't understand any of it. Had you maybe told me I would've accepted you confession and said I love you too,"

"I wasn't even supposed to be using lines on you, Tanaka overheard me and- wait, what?" Again, Tsukishima's eyes widen and for once he was struggling to collect his thoughts, "You love me too?"

Hinata hummed in response and stepped forward. He reached up, grabbed Tsukishima's collar, and pulled him down.

Tsukishima didn't want to be cliché, but the kiss was magical. Fireworks were going off in his head and he swears time stood still. It wasn't his first kiss but it was the kiss that mattered the most to him. All his work from the week paid off when he heard Hinata softly sigh and pull him closer.

Eventually they pulled apart, softly panting as they stared at one another. Hinata was the first to break the silence, "Tsukishima, owl always love you," He giggled at his own words. "Bokuto taught me that one,"

Tsukishima couldn't help but smile, "Idiot. We're crows."

**Author's Note:**

> I've had you in my phone for the longest time. 
> 
> But here's another dumb fanfic about gay boys in love. (Sorry about if there are typos. And sorry for using "said" too much.)
> 
> Enjoy!


End file.
